I wrote this one a long time ago. (over 2 years!) It might still be useful, so I decided to share. - Jenny
A few people have asked me if I have any tips for how to support their friend/family member who is facing some time in the hospital. This question makes my heart hurt so much :( I put a little list together that I hope will help. I hope most of you never need to use it! If you have dealt with a long hospital stay, please feel free to add other ideas in the comments. 1. “Let me know how I can help.” Of course, we SO appreciated all the offers for help. But at times we needed it, it felt overwhelming to ask, or decide where to even start in asking. The best offers tended to be the most specific ones. Like, “I thought I could do [this thing] for you guys. Would that help?” Suggestions: “I thought I could take your dog for a walk / bring you takeout / mow your yard / clean your kitchen / meet you for a walk / do a load of laundry / take your kids to the playground” (we don’t have kids, but you get the idea). And then don’t forget the second part, “…would that be helpful?” Because maybe it’s not, and be prepared for them to say “no, but thanks.” Or, “that’s sweet, but actually what I really need is X.” And then there you are, being all helpful and stuff. 2. Your words: Sam touched on this really well in his blog post. But, as we all know, it is hard to tell people how we feel about them. However, don’t underestimate the healing power and encouragement that can come from a short note, text, facebook comment, email, etc. even if it feels so small and helpless. Just telling someone with sincerity that you are thinking about them really, truly means a lot – more than most gifts you can bring and are the things I still think back on now years later. - 1/4/19 3. Gifts. This is vastly different depending on the situation, I’m sure. But if I were to bring a gift to someone staring down a long hospital stay, it would probably be one of these things:
4. The visit. Here’s everything that comes to mind:
6. Be understanding. Sometimes, your hospital-bound person (despite best intentions) won’t have the energy to reply to your message, thank you for your gift, or (in really bad times) even open your gift. Just understand that this has nothing to do with you and what you did, and the effort you showed is noted and appreciated. Things can change quickly and you’ll have to roll with the punches as a supporter, just like they have to as a patient. The best part? I learned all this from the incredible support YOU all gave. Thank you - we are grateful for you daily. Again, my hope is that you never need to use this list. Comments are closed.
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