After a trip to the ER last night due to uncontrolled bleeding and the discovery of initial stages of kidney failure, Sam entered into hospice care today.
The plus side of hospice is improved pain management and not needing to make so many painful trips to the clinic for treatment. Also there are doctors and nurses available 24/7 who are able to administer any medication that can make Sam more comfortable. That means no more trips to the ER - they can just come to us. The downside is that while on hospice Sam can no longer receive "life prolonging treatment." It's all about comfort and retaining quality of life at this point. Terrifyingly, Sam can't receive blood or platelet transfusions on hospice, which are currently keeping him alive. We have been told all along his time would be short without his transfusions. To say that is a difficult trade off is an understatement. It has been an agonizing decision and an awful day. But, at the urging of multiple doctors and in seeing his quality of life diminish so quickly and dramatically, we decided it is time for him to stay home and as comfortable as possible. We have been told we could always take him off hospice and back into treatment if we see any sign of improvement, though that is unlikely. It still makes me feel a little better knowing the option exists. Heartbreakingly, the pain medications he's on have made him very, very sleepy and largely unresponsive beyond grunts or jumbled up half sentences. However, even if he's sleeping, if you lean in really close and whisper in his ear, "I love you Sammy," he'll mumble, "iloveyoutoo" back before drifting off to sleep again. This is keeping me going.
Melissa Malott
5/8/2017 07:37:39 pm
Oohhh, my heart is breaking for you, Jenny. So many of us love you and love Sam, and I hope you feel the warmth of it.
Casie Budolfson
5/8/2017 07:54:08 pm
Jenny, I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
Cassie Dederich
5/8/2017 08:00:47 pm
We're sending so, so much love to you guys.
Alida Carlson
5/8/2017 08:00:55 pm
Your strength brings me back to this world, every time I am honored enough to read your insights. Soak it all up.
Emily Schmidt
5/8/2017 08:05:07 pm
❤ My heart breaks for you both. Wishing you peace and comfort and time to be together. ❤ Thinking of you!
Bev Mangerson
5/8/2017 08:06:03 pm
Hearts are breaking along with you. You are in our hearts and prayers.
Claire Pywell
5/8/2017 08:31:38 pm
Sending all the love and warmth we have your way, Jenny. Remember we're all thinking about you and Sam right now and we're not going away.
Eric Booton
5/8/2017 08:36:04 pm
So much love for you Sam! It would take a novel to tell you how much you have impacted my life.
Jamey
5/8/2017 09:23:01 pm
Sending you and Sam all my love.
Kada
5/8/2017 09:41:09 pm
I'm so sad to hear of this update; you two are always in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🙏❤️
Linda and George
5/8/2017 10:21:57 pm
Sending you huge hugs and our love! You two remain always in our thoughts.
Michael
5/8/2017 10:53:40 pm
I don't have words. I don't know if prayers, or thoughts, or anything can reach out, but I'm sending them to you both. Love.
Abbey
5/9/2017 02:41:29 am
Jenny, I am so sorry to read this. Love you so much. 💜
Karen Sigal
5/9/2017 02:56:12 am
Sending Love Jenny and Sam.
Sheri and Jim Dederich
5/9/2017 03:32:42 am
Sending love and strength!
Pete
5/9/2017 03:45:59 am
Please tell my brother that I love him.
Hillary Feder
5/9/2017 05:10:58 am
Love you both. Peace to you both.
Jill Reed
5/9/2017 05:34:27 am
Jenny and Sam: nothing much to say and SO much to feel. May you feel the presence of the Lord; rest in His arms to the degree you can and feel the love and prayers of all those who love the two of you very much.
marilyn tucker
5/9/2017 05:29:00 am
I for one did not want to read this - wanted to read that all was going well and improving Not that hospice is not coming in - what a battle the both of you have put up and continue to do - wonder why God WHY - love to both of you and stay strong - Hi to Deb and Jim too - I know it gives you comfort to all be together
Jed Smith
5/9/2017 07:10:41 am
Peace and love to you both.
Ian McConnell
5/9/2017 07:44:06 am
This is sad news indeed. It's great to read that Sam is comfortable, and I weep for you Jenny. All my love to you and your family.
Linda K Havel
5/9/2017 08:00:32 am
I was blessed to know sweet little Sammy as his first grade teacher. Sam was a smart, kind, generous and always smiling very special little boy. I will always re!ember him that way. The world needs more Sams. .
Megan Kitze-Ward
5/9/2017 08:14:30 am
I only know Sam through going to HS with his sisters. . .but I just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you all. . this just breaks my heart and man is it not fair. . . .I hope this time is filled with as much love and peace as you can find. I'm holding your family in my heart. . .
Lyle Snyder
5/9/2017 08:31:28 am
Prayers and peace...
Heidi Lottes
5/9/2017 08:46:15 am
my heart goes out to you both along with your families. it's comforting to know that Sam has had you there with him through it all and will continue to have you there. i won't even try to imagine the pain and heartbreak that you (and sam) must be feeling today. I hope that the last few years and wonderful adventures that you two have taken together are able to bring some comfort to you. my love to you both.
Dave
5/9/2017 09:04:15 am
Much love, thoughts, deep breaths and peace be with you Sam and Jen...
Casrole Lynes
5/9/2017 09:45:10 am
Dear Jenny, Your all encompassing love for Sam is a marvel and a comfort to us all. I ache for you wishing you were enjoying the life together you both so richly deserve. Just know your granny loves you both very much and prays for you unceasingly.
Janelle Bamlety
5/9/2017 11:07:39 am
My heart is breaking as well--I love you all❤️
Steve
5/9/2017 12:57:11 pm
Wishing you both peace and strength.
Maryann Lynes
5/9/2017 02:21:47 pm
Oh Honey. We are soooo sorry. We love you both so much. We are here for you guys!
Khalial
5/9/2017 02:26:44 pm
We love you! Please whisper to Sam that we love him.
Mavis Winkler
5/9/2017 03:03:19 pm
May God give you the strength to endure, knowing many are with you. Grasp the "love" along with the pain.
Darlene Machtan
5/9/2017 03:38:54 pm
Being placed on Hospice is wonderful and terrible. An inevitable beginning and ending. Sending you both my love and strength and prayers.
Carol Bross-McMahon
5/10/2017 03:35:56 am
Jenny, you and Sam are so lucky to have found each other in life. Praying that your remaining time together is peaceful and you can take comfort in knowing how much you changed each other's lives for the better. Thinking of you both.
julie keller
5/10/2017 04:25:10 am
Lots of love to you both. I can hear Sam's laugh and see his smile.
Kelsey
5/10/2017 06:36:01 am
Dear Jenny,
Becky
5/10/2017 04:15:08 pm
I, too, do not know them other than we're from Rhinelander also. But their writing is an inspiration to me and keeps bringing me back. I feel so bad they have list Sam.
Robert Mullins
5/10/2017 04:11:53 pm
News of Sam just spread to, and through, many of his old High School friends this evening; needless to say, are thoughts and prayers are with you and Sam's family.We were all proud to know Sam, and we all know and have heard the stories of the the pure good he has brought to this world. Comments are closed.
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